[ Official Statement ]
The view is great. The commute is a wall.
Somebody had to be first. He is polished, he is calm, and he has not blinked since the landing. Behind him the planet hangs in the dark like a trophy. In front of him a long white walkway runs off across the dust toward a project nobody has explained.
The Department sent an inspector. The inspector came back with a photo, a sunburn and no questions. The flag is standing. The suit is spotless. Everything is going exactly according to plan, whoever made it.
We printed the whole scene across the chest of a black hoodie, so the black of the garment becomes the black of space. Wear it and the room gets quieter. You have already won. Nobody has told them yet.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Full-color artwork, large, centered on the chest
- Garment
- Heavyweight fleece hoodie, black
- Sizes
- S to 2XL
- Gravity
- One sixth
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
We asked him to look away from the camera. He declined. The signal is fine.
Ground control
★★★★★
There is no wind up here and I have never looked better.
The flag
★★★★★
I am very small from here. He seems happy about it.
The Earth
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Why does he shine like that?
He is that kind of winner. The Department has stopped asking.
What is the walkway?
It is a walkway. It goes there. Please do not ask where there is.
Is the black background printed?
It is the garment. The print stops where the hoodie starts, and so does space.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the WINNER. The Department will know.
Back to the order formThe Department takes no responsibility for anything you declare yourself the winner of. The inspector is still up there. He says it is fine.
[ More Supplies ]