[ Official Statement ]
Your grudge is important to us. Please remain on the line.
This is the Department hotline. All agents are assisting other citizens. Your wait time is currently: yes. The skeleton on this shirt has been holding since before we opened, and he is, frankly, handling it better than you would.
We drew the hand ourselves. Twenty-seven small bones, each one of them patient. The phone is a rotary model because the Department believes in the old systems, the ones that took five seconds to dial a number and a lifetime to be put through.
Wear it on yellow, in a room where someone owes you an answer. Do not speak. Let the shirt put them on hold.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Skeleton hand and phone, front and back
- Shirt
- Yellow haze, heavy cotton
- Sizes
- S to 2XL
- Made
- Printed to order, ships in 1 to 2 weeks, US only
- Hold music
- Not included. You will hear it anyway.
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
I wore it to the DMV. They called my number early. Nobody has ever done that. I think they were scared.
Rhonda, 40 minutes in
★★★★★
Still here.
The Skeleton
★★★★★
It is a very yellow shirt. You can see it from the parking lot. I was seen. I was finally seen.
Verified Caller
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Is the hold music on the shirt?
No. We tried. The music is thirty-one seconds of the same four notes and it made the printer cry.
Will I be connected?
Your call is very important to us. That is not a yes.
Can the skeleton hear me?
He hears everything. He has been listening since 2026.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Please Hold. The Department will know.
Back to the order formDepartment hotline hours are Tuesday, from nine to nine-oh-one. Calls may be recorded, replayed, and framed.
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