[ Official Statement ]
He lifted his glasses an inch. The room agreed to everything.
The Department received this portrait through the mail slot with no return address and a faint smell of cologne. The man in it is seated like someone who has already won the argument and is waiting for you to notice.
We counted the jewelry. We stopped counting. There is a cross the size of a hand, two watches on one wrist situation, and a houndstooth coat that appears to have been woven by an accountant who loved him. His fingers hold the frames of his glasses the way a judge holds a gavel.
The lettering underneath is hand-dripped black metal, so we put him on white, charcoal and sport grey heavyweight fleece, where the black still hits. Hood up. Walk toward people slowly. Let them wonder what he knows.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Portrait with dripping black lettering, large on the chest
- Garment
- Heavyweight fleece hoodie
- Colors
- White, Charcoal, Sport Grey
- Sizes
- S to 5XL
- Gaze
- Direct. Slightly amused. Now with a hood.
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
He wore it to dinner with the hood up. The check came with a handwritten note that said "of course." I do not know what it meant.
A waiter
★★★★★
Three coworkers adjusted their glasses at me in the elevator. I think it was a salute.
Sandra, HR
★★★★★
I frame him beautifully. He knows.
The Hood
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Who is he?
He is Warlock. The Department has asked him to introduce himself. He declined with a look.
Why not black?
The lettering is black. On a black hoodie it would disappear. He prefers to be seen.
Is it warm?
Warmer than his stare. Most things are.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Warlock. The Department will know.
Back to the order formWearing this garment does not grant you his confidence. It grants you the posture, the hood, and a little of the cologne.
[ More Supplies ]