[ Official Statement ]
Everyone at the counter is somewhere else.
It is late and it is raining and the diner is lit like a stage. Five people sit at the counter in a row. Nobody is talking. Each of them is looking down at a small bright rectangle while the coffee goes cold.
A cook stands behind them in the steam and watches the whole thing. He has seen this every night and does not think it is strange. The Department disagrees, but the Department also has its phone out.
We painted the window and printed it across the front of a white tee, so the street goes dark around it and the light stays on. Wear it and anyone behind you gets the best seat at the counter.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Full-color painting, large, centered on the front
- Shirt
- White tee
- Refills
- Not included
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
I read the shirt. Then I looked up and four tables were on their phones. It is accurate.
Pat, waitress
★★★★★
Nobody sits on me anymore. They lean on me and scroll.
A stool
★★★★★
I have been trying to tell somebody for years. Now it is on a shirt.
The Cook
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Is this a real diner?
It is open all night. The Department has not found the front door.
Who is the man in the back?
The cook. He is the only one looking up.
Does it glow?
It glows the way the window does, which is mostly in your head.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Diner. The Department will know.
Back to the order formThe Department makes no promise that the coffee is hot. We only promise the light stays on.
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