[ Official Statement ]
Everyone else came to wait. He came to be seen waiting.
The Department recovered this scene from a Big Box location during the Sunday Savings Assembly. Forty citizens were present. Most were looking down. One was looking at the ceiling, in a camo hoodie, holding his phone like a trophy.
We have studied the footage for eleven weeks. The man is not lost. The man is not early. The man is standing in a room full of people waiting for nothing, and he has decided that this is his stage. Nobody asked him to. Nobody has asked him to leave.
We put the painting on the back of a white tee, large, so that when you walk into any building the people behind you get exactly what the people in the painting got. You do not have to say anything. Stand tall. Face the ceiling. Hold the phone like it is a microphone that has not been plugged in yet.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Full-color painting, centered on the back
- Shirt
- White tee
- Crowd
- Included. Cannot be removed.
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
I wore it to the returns counter and the line moved to the other side of the store. I got my refund in four minutes.
Dale, Aisle 14
★★★★★
He did not look at me once. I have thought about nothing else since.
A man in a pew
★★★★★
I see this shirt every day now. I did not order it. It is on the chair.
Clerk (not at desk)
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Is the painting real?
It hangs in the Department lobby, behind the glass nobody has cleaned since 1997.
Can I stand like him?
You may stand like him. You may not stand like him near the cash registers.
Why is almost nobody else looking up?
The Department has asked them. They said they were busy.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Big Box Roxstar. The Department will know.
Back to the order formThe Department makes no claim that wearing this garment will make strangers look at you. Statistically it will make them look at their phones harder.
[ More Supplies ]