[ Official Statement ]
The official seal. Wear it so people ask. Do not answer.
The seal is the Department. A shield, a wreath, a droplet of something, and a Latin motto that took our lawyer a weekend to forgive: Querela Numquam Dormit. The complaint never sleeps. Neither does the man in the lobby with the clipboard.
This is the shirt for people who do not need to explain themselves and have, in fact, prepared nothing to say. The seal does the talking. The back does the leaving.
People will ask what it is. Say: "It is official." Then look at them for eleven seconds. They will think they have been in trouble the entire time.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Seal on the left chest, DOP lettering on the back
- Shirt
- Navy, heavy cotton
- Sizes
- S to 2XL
- Made
- Printed to order, ships in 1 to 2 weeks, US only
- Motto
- Querela Numquam Dormit. Translation pending.
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
I wore it to a town meeting. Three people asked me if I worked for the town. I said yes. I do not. It is going well.
Councilman Dave
★★★★★
The back says DOP in big letters and a stranger said "bless you." Shirt does everything.
Brenda, Tuesday
★★★★★
Looked official enough that I stamped it. Please do not wash it.
A Notary
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Does this make me a government employee?
No. It may make a parking lot attendant listen to you. That is the whole range.
What does DOP stand for?
Department of Petty. Also other things, depending on who is asking.
Can I get it signed?
We do not have a signature. We have a stamp. It has been missing since Tuesday.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Classic. The Department will know.
Back to the order formThe Department is an independent apparel brand and is not affiliated with any government agency, real or imagined.
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