[ Official Statement ]
It is cold out. This is a formal filing.
It is cold out. This is not a complaint. This is a filing. A formal notice, in knit form, that the weather has been noted and will be dealt with at a later hearing.
The seal sits on the cuff, dead center. When you pull the hat down, the seal looks out over the top of your eyebrows like a small, furious sun.
One size, because the Department has never once adjusted for anything. If it does not fit, the problem is your head, and we have a form for that.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Design
- Seal on the cuff
- Style
- Knit beanie
- Colors
- Black, Navy
- Size
- One size
- Made
- Printed to order, ships in 1 to 2 weeks, US only
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
Pulled it over my ears at the bus stop and nobody sat near me. Best twenty-one dollars of my life. It was thirty.
Mike (not that one)
★★★★★
I tried. It would not come off.
The Wind
★★★★★
Wore it into a meeting. Nobody knew why. Everyone agreed to my proposal.
Pat, Dispatch
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Does it come in other sizes?
It comes in the size. That is the size.
Is it warm?
It is a hat. We are not a doctor.
Should I take it off indoors?
The Department recommends it. The Department does not take its own advice.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Warm Hat. The Department will know.
Back to the order formNot responsible for hat hair, hat head, hat-related political opinions, or what the hat saw.
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