[ Official Statement ]
Built for long waits in cold lobbies.
There is a chair in every lobby. It is orange or it is blue, and it has a sticky note on the arm that says DO NOT MOVE. You have been in that chair. You are in that chair right now, in spirit.
This hoodie was designed in that chair. It is heavy on purpose, so that you will feel something. The hood goes up, and a small dark tunnel of calm opens around your face. In the tunnel there is no waiting. There is only you, the seal, and the vending machine across the room that has never once given someone what they paid for.
The back says DOP. The front has the seal. If anyone approaches you in the lobby, they will do so with the caution normally reserved for a man who knows how the building works.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Seal on the chest, DOP lettering on the back
- Garment
- Heavyweight fleece hoodie
- Colors
- Black, Navy, Military Green
- Sizes
- S to 2XL
- Made
- Printed to order, ships in 1 to 2 weeks, US only
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
I put the hood up and an old man next to me did the same. We did not speak. We are still there.
Larry, Waiting Room B
★★★★★
Warmer than the lobby. Warmer than the staff. Four stars, one for each wall.
Joan, Waiting Room B
★★★★★
It was held open for him. I do not know why. I am a door.
A concerned door
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Which color is the loneliest?
Navy. It has been to several funerals.
Is it warm enough for a lobby?
It is warm enough for a lobby with the thermostat in a locked box. That is the Department standard.
How long is the wait?
You are the wait.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Classic Hoodie. The Department will know.
Back to the order formThe Department takes no responsibility for hoods put up in meetings. You were warned. You were told to put the hood up.
[ More Supplies ]