[ Official Statement ]
Adhesive evidence.
Some feelings do not fit on a shirt. Some belong on a water bottle, a laptop, a toolbox, a locker, a gas pump, or a shopping cart you have decided to take personally.
The seal is printed on a satin sticker, three by three inches, backed with the kind of adhesive that has outlived marriages. Peel the back. Press down. Walk away without explaining. It will do the explaining for as long as the thing it is stuck to exists.
Ships free with a shirt. Ships alone for two dollars, in an envelope, with the quiet dignity of a very small official letter.
[ Specifications ]
Specifications
- Size
- 3 by 3 inches
- Finish
- Satin
- Backing
- Peel and stick
- Made
- Printed to order, ships in 1 to 2 weeks, US only
- Shipping
- Free with any shirt. $2 alone.
[ Testimonials ]
Citizens Have Said Things
Every testimonial below was written by the Department.
★★★★★
I put it on the paper towel dispenser. It has been there for three weeks. Nobody has removed it. I am the mayor now.
Tony, rest area
★★★★★
I did not consent to this. I have, however, grown used to it.
The Laptop
★★★★★
My mom said it was a government sticker and let me keep it on the fridge. It is not. It is better.
A kid
[ Frequently Denied Questions ]
Frequently Denied Questions
Where should I stick it?
Somewhere it will be found by someone who will not understand.
Will it come off?
Eventually. Everything does. Not today.
Can I stick it on a government building?
The Department did not say that. The Department did not hear that.
[ Final Notice ]
Buy the Sticky Thing. The Department will know.
Back to the order formDo not apply to people. Do not apply to animals. Do not apply to anything that is currently on fire.
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